Thursday, October 23, 2008
Craziness
As a few of you know, I have been going through an early mid-life crisis. I have recently decided that is actually an identity crisis. I have been married almost 4 years, have a kid, and feel like a frumpy, boring, old person. These are not bad things but the first two are awesome life accomplishments. Having said that, here is the problem...I haven't even made it to 24 yet but I feel like I skipped my 20's and went right into my 30's ( I think I might have willed these feelings upon myself. I specifically remember before getting married and getting pregnant that this might happen to me. I thought I talked myself off the ledge then but I guess not). My sense of style, adventure, and youth has vanished. I have tried to come up with a couple of different schemes to fix this problem but none of them have worked out. And I hate to say this but Christina, you looking fabulous all the time is not helping my self esteem (even in your scrubs you look cute)! jk (about the sounding rude part, not the looking fab part). I have been able to come up with a couple of things that kind of helped. 1) SHOPPING!! I have rarely shopped with out being given a gift card since I left for college. Now I need to make up for some serious loss of time. 2)Exercise. I don't have much time to do it but it sure helps with my energy level. 3) Getting beautified. Getting my hair done and all that girly stuff sure can make me feel a million times better. My next step in re-finding myself is going to getting back into hobbies. I haven't quite figured out how I am going to do that yet but the wheels are in motion!
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7 comments:
You are so adorable. I love reading your posts. All I can say is I wish we still lived next to each other because I would so like to try out these "schemes" with you! I haven't even had my baby yet and I'm already feeling frumpy and like my body/appearance is a bit out of control! Anyway, good luck with everything and I hope you and your fam are doing well!
I honestly think I know exactly how you feel because I've had a lot of the same feelings. It sounds lame but I checked out a few books from the library about adjusting to motherhood and that actually helped a bit. (The only one I remember was "What no one tells the mom" which was pretty good.) And shopping definitely helps me too, or just getting out in general. We should get together and get back massages or manicures, that would be great.
Come scrapbook with me! I think all of my experiences as of late have made me feel the same way you do. So far I have been shopping, planned to exercise (as soon as my dr. says it's ok) and have an appt to get my hair cut on Saturday. We are the same and again, come scrapbook with me.
First, let me just say that you are beautiful, Ashley! But, I know what you mean, I have been feeling the same way lately. At first, I had the excuse of having a new born. But now? Now I just feel like a frump. And the adventure part... there's not much adventure in "Let's go do this! Oh wait, the baby needs to go down for a nap first, then eat, and we'll only have an hour before she has to go to sleep again!" I love her, but I really do miss just being able to get up and go. Thank you for posting this, and for sharing the things you're doing, I'm going to try them! I really admire the way you tackle your problems head on and come up with solutions!
If it is any consolation, what you are going through is TOTALLY normal! Look at all the people who have already said they know how you feel :) And so do I :) I love being married and having a kid, but it is SUCH a huge adjustment. I always say that I did not feel completely fulfilled and comfortable with being a mother until Brielle was over a year old. I think it can take that long (or longer) to get into things and learn a way to keep yourself happy along with everyone else in your life. You are doing a great job!!!
As most people have said above, everyone feels that way at some point (or several points) of their lives. Sometimes big life adjustments can throw you out of your groove and before you know it, you don't feel like yourself anymore. All of the things you're doing help me too. I think it's also important to have good girl friends... sometimes a good girls night out can be such a great dose of medicine. We all have so much more in common than we think!
My opinion, not that you asked is that being raised in the church we all tend to think that our main goals are to get married and have kids (which are great goals and I am not demining them in any way) so it's like once you do that you start to think 'what do I do now?' Your remember Megan olsen/perkin now Bourne right? she married my cousin and went through kind of the same thing so she just made herself get interested in new things like took a couple interior design classes and what not...I think it's great what your doing and look at all the support you have! :) good luck
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